Living in the Present

I wonder if what robs life from us most, from me, is believing and then living out the belief that once I just get ??? done (fill in the blank) then I can ??? (fill in the blank). Once I get... financially free, my kids raised, the house picked up, my education done, married, rested, etc., etc., etc... then I can... focus on relationships, spend time with my kids, go on a date, volunteer my time, get to know my neighbor, spend time with God, etc., etc., etc.

I was watching the movie "A Walk to Remember" with my wife and two boys last night (great movie by the way), and I found myself jealous of the love relationship being lived out on the TV screen before me. It carried my thoughts to my oldest son who is head long into a relationship with the girl who has caught his fancy, and I thought about just how thoroughly in the moment they are with each other... passionate and caring, kind hearted and serving, fun loving and illogical. I remember my relationship with my wife being that same way when we first met, taking in each and every moment with each other. The moment was what was central. Not only was it central with my "beau", but with friendships and church relationships and others. Past and future were important, but they didn't overshadow what was happening in the present.

As I get older, now in the latter half of my forties, the "moments" for me can often get fewer and farther between. And while to a degree this is to be expected with the growing responsibilities of life, I catch myself living by the "Once I get ???, then I can???" credo far more than I am comfortable with. I am often not even aware that I am uncomfortable with it until I am unexpectedly awaken from my hurried slumber by a movie story, a thought from an author, a great pause of laughter, a quiet of reflection... something that pulls me out of the routine.

Jesus said to leave the worries of tomorrow for tomorrow (Matt 6). He also reveals that he is in the midst of all the activities of the current day that present itself to us..."for when did I see you hungry or thirsty or needing of clothing... in the least of these I, Jesus, was" (A quoted parapharse of Matt. 25...don't know if that is legal, but you get the just of it). For me I find it hard, a battle, to hold on to Jesus' words and not let the busyness of life rob my living in the present.

God give me the focus, and the heart, and the fellowship to live in the moment. May I be planful "enough" of the future, and draw trust from your faithfulness you've revealed to me through my past, so that I can be attentive and free to take in the moments of this day.